You know all those posts you read about the glory of giving up drink? Well this isn't one of them. Today I've been alcohol free for 30 days. Here's what didn't happen over those 30 long days....
- I didn't wake up with boundless energy - parenting a toddler sucks that right out of you.
- I didn't sleep better. I actually had a hell of a time quietening my mind at night to fall asleep. (Apparently wine is the perfect dose of not giving a fuck - who knew?!)
- I didn't alleviate all my weary bones and wake up feeling flexible and fabulous - working out 5 days a week and nearing 40 is still going to kick your ass, sans wine.
- And I didn't think it was the best thing I'd ever done and would recommend it to all my friends - it was actually very stressful.
But here's what I learned...
It's more stressful to think about doing it than actually doing it. I was worried I wouldn't be able to stay off it for 30 days and that caused more stress than doing it. You see, I talk about building habits one at a time and I worked 20 long years to build my wine one. I'd tried all the tips and tricks to cut back and "moderate" my wine drinking but it always seemed to come back to the daily pour. If I could be disciplined with everything else why not this? Was I more dependent on wine that I should be? It was a tough question that started to weigh on my shoulders and finally pushed me to get some answers.
But I got them - I challenged one of my biggest fears and I WON. I wanted to show that even our worst habits can be broken if we work hard enough at it. And it was work, trust me!
I started this by saying I was aiming for 60 days. But today is Paddy's Day, and I think 30 days is a pretty swell accomplishment. So I'm going to go out on a date with my husband and have a fucking pint.